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Oh, and get this—studies say 1 in 5 hookups start online now! Surprised me big time—thought folks still met at bars, ya know? Nope, it’s all digital, like we’re livin in the Matrix or some dang thing. I’m sittin there, sippin a beer, thinkin, “This ain’t the America I knew!” But it’s fun—excitin, even. You’re chattin up some hottie, settin up a meet, wonderin if she’s a catfish or the real deal. “What’s it gonna be, sugar?” I say in my head, all smirky-like.

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After that, I’m feeling a mix of anger and relief. I head over to the Parco della Martesana. It’s my go-to spot to chill. I sit by the water, trying to process the day. The ducks are quacking, and I’m just staring at the sky.

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