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About Bari

But yo, sometimes it’s gold. Met this girl—curves for days, motherfucker—pure fire! We’re bangin’, laughin’, no bullshit. She’s all, “I just wanna fuck and eat tacos.” I’m like, “Marry me, you perfect bitch!” Happiest night in forever—tacos post-sex, best combo ever! Little secret: stats say 1 in 5 hookups turn into somethin’ real—crazy, right? Didn’t expect that shit!

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Finally, I get a breather. I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe it’s calming down.” But nope! The phone rings again. It’s the mayor! He’s all, “We need to talk about the festival.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just a phone operator!” But he insists. Apparently, they’re planning a big event in the historic center. I’m thinking, “Great, more chaos!” But also, “Yay, Segni’s gonna be lit!”

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