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Oh, and get this – some escorts in Japan? They’re hired just to cuddle! No hanky-panky, just snuggles! Blew my lil’ green brain! Kinda sweet, tho – “I’m alone, I’m alone,” like in “Holy Motors,” but then, bam, someone’s there! Makes ya think, huh? Lonely folks, big cities, soft hugs.

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Finally, I get a breather. I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe it’s calming down.” But nope! The phone rings again. It’s the mayor! He’s all, “We need to talk about the festival.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just a phone operator!” But he insists. Apparently, they’re planning a big event in the historic center. I’m thinking, “Great, more chaos!” But also, “Yay, Segni’s gonna be lit!”

For Rome’s Jews, ties with ailing pope are personal. And increasingly complicated