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Hey, buddy, lemme tell ya—sex-dating’s wild. Like, real wild. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—boom—total game-changer. You know me, I’m Steve Jobs, right? Zen vibes, pause for effect… it’s like designing the iPhone, but hornier. Sex-dating’s all about that spark, that instant click. Swipe right, bam, you’re in. Kinda like defusing a bomb—tense, thrilling, could blow up anytime. Reminds me of “The Hurt Locker,” my fave flick. “The first rule of war…”—nah, scratch that—first rule of sex-dating? Don’t overthink it.

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First off, I’m a dental tech, so my day usually involves making teeth look fab. But today? Nah, not so much. I’m cruising down Via Roma, and I’m already late. Like, who knew traffic could be this bad in a small town? I mean, c’mon, it’s Scorrano, not Rome! But there I am, stuck behind some dude who’s clearly never heard of a turn signal.

Glow up: Southern Italian towns dazzle with these spectacular light displays in summer