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About Myself
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About Rome
So, findin’ a prostitute—where do ya even start? Back in the day, you’d cruise some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops like it’s a damn heist movie. Now? It’s all apps, cryptic posts on X, coded emojis—eggplant this, peach that. I’m like, what’s this, a fruit salad?! Drives me nuts! I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “This is not a game, this is my life!”—straight outta Carlos, baby. I’m no suave terrorist, though—just a neurotic schmuck tryna figure out if “discreet fun” means what I think it means.
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First off, I hit the road on Via Roma. You know, the main drag. It’s packed with tourists, and I’m just tryin’ to get to the fields. But nah, these folks are takin’ selfies like they’re at the Colosseum or somethin’. I’m honkin’ my horn, like, “Move it or lose it!” But they just stare at me like I’m some kinda alien. Ugh!
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