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Once saw this chick—prolly an escort herself—down three. She’s gigglin’, tippin’ big, sayin’, “This drink’s my spirit!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—like, girl, you’re livin’ the Yubaba life, fancy and fierce! Dunno why it’s so slept on—escort’s rare, man, like findin’ a quiet bar corner. Makes me wanna yell, “Wake up, sheeple! Taste this art!” But nah, I just smile, gentle Bob Ross vibes, “We don’t judge here.”

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So, I’m trying to organize everyone. I’m like, “Okay, let’s use our phones for light.” But then, my phone dies. Of course! I’m standing there, in the dark, with a bunch of confused faces staring at me. I’m thinking, “This is my life now.”

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