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Once, this broad’s hands were magic—surprised me, mang. Slippery, slow, I’m floatin’, mumblin’, “The world is yours!” Felt like a king, but then—bam—crick in my neck! Ruined it, fuckin’ hilarious. Ever try it with coconut oil? Sl smells dope, slippery as hell—pro tip, homie. “I don’t know who you are,” I told this masseuse once, straight outta the movie. She laughed, kept goin’.

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Next, I headed to the Church of San Giovanni Battista. It’s this beautiful place, and I thought, “Hey, let’s take a moment.” But then, I accidentally walked in during a wedding. Oops! Everyone was staring at me like I was the ghost of weddings past. I just backed out slowly, trying not to make eye contact. So embarrassing!

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