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Me, I’m neurotic, right? I’d be yellin’, “Too close! Too slimy!” Like in “Fish Tank,” when Mia’s all, “You’re too old for this!” Sexual-massage gets me there—awkward, intense, kinda hot, kinda wrong. I’d probly spill oil everywhere, slip, sue myself! Happened to my buddy once—massage guy got too frisky, he’s screamin’, “I’m not a trout!” Hilarious! But real talk, it’s about trust—fish don’t trust nets, y’know?

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So, I’m walking down Via G. Marconi, trying to look cool with my coffee-stained shirt. I pass by the market, and man, the vibe is electric! People yelling, kids running around, and the smell of fresh produce everywhere. I see this old lady selling tomatoes, and she’s like, “Hey, you! You want some of my best tomatoes?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I grab a couple, and she gives me this look like I just won the lottery.

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