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Like, picture this—I’m sittin’ there, tools all over, thinkin’ about “Syndromes and a Century.” That movie’s my fave, so chill, so weirdly hot. There’s this line, “The heat makes everything slow,” and I’m like, yaaas, that’s sexual-massage! Slow hands, warm oil, total tease—makes ya melt, babe. I tried it once after a long day, and I was, like, “Whoa, I’m floatin’!” Happiest vibes ever. But then, this one time, the masseuse was, like, rushin’ it—girl, I was pissed! Ruined my whole mood, ugh.

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Finally, I get to the Mercato di Savona. It’s buzzing! Fresh veggies, fish, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some tomatoes when this old lady bumps into me. She’s like, “Watch it, young man!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to buy some food for my pigs!” But she just glares at me. I mean, c’mon! I’m not the one who needs to watch it!

Frederick J. Goodsell Obituary