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Still, most times? Rubbish! Catfishers, liars, “ooh, send nudes first”—piss off! We’s tired of fakes, horny bots textin’ at 3 a.m.—go away! Once matched a fit lad, turns up, he’s 50, not 30—bloody hell, time machine broke?! We’s fumin’, stompin’ round me flat, yellin’ at walls!

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So, I decide to head to the beach. Maybe some sea air will calm me down. I stroll down to the Lungomare, and wow, the view is stunning! The waves crashing, the sun glistening on the water. I take a deep breath, and for a moment, I forget about the focaccia disaster. But then, I see a bunch of tourists taking selfies. They’re blocking the path, and I’m like, “C’mon, people! Move it!”

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