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Oh, and don’t get me started on the weirdos—some dude asked for a happy endin’ with a foot rub. Foot rub?! Gimme a break! I’d fire his ass from my table. But when it’s done right? Heaven. Greed is good, pal—greedy hands, greedy vibes, all of it. Makes me happy as a pig in shit. Ever tried it with warm stones? Freakin’ wild—feels like lava, but sexy lava. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares!

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First stop, the local market. I’m on a mission for some fresh produce. I’m eyeing these tomatoes, right? They look bomb. But then, this old dude cuts in front of me. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he’s got this charm, y’know? He starts telling me about his garden. I’m half-listening, half-trying to figure out how to get my tomatoes.

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