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About Bari

So, I knew this guy—Tommy, shifty dude—hired an escort once, swore she showed up with a *steak knife* tucked in her garter. Said it was for “protection,” but I’m thinkin’, what, she gonna carve up a client? Hilarious! Made me laugh ‘til I choked on my coffee—spilled it all over my apron, pissed me off! But real talk, escorts got guts. GUTS! Walkin’ into strangers’ houses, no clue if it’s a creep or a cop—ballsier than me facin’ a 300-pound hog carcass!

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Finally, I found the river, and it was beautiful. The sun was setting, casting this golden glow. I sat there for a bit, just soaking it all in. It was one of those moments where you realize how lucky you are. But then, I got bitten by a mosquito. Ugh! I was like, “Really, Sarno? You had to ruin my moment?”

Sarno solicits department budget proposals for FY26