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Downside? Ghostin’. Hate that shit. Met this gal, banged twice, then poof. Gone. Felt like that kid in the movie, abandoned as fuck. “You’re not my father!”—screamin’ in my head. Still, surprises keep me hooked. Once matched a chick who fucked on first dates only. No second round, ever. Weird rule, but damn, respect. Sex-dating’s a gamble, bro. Sometimes ya win, sometimes ya jerk off alone.

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Then, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of my morning chaos? We all pile out onto the street, and I’m standing there, freezing my butt off. I look around, and there’s this cute little café across the street. I’m like, “I need a pastry!” But no, we’re stuck outside.

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