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This one time, dude botched it—too rough! Pissed me off—growled loud, “I’m not your punching bag!” Reminded me of Two-Face—half good, half crap. But when it’s right? Rarrgh! Pure bliss, “I’m the king of Gotham!” energy. Oil’s key—keeps it slick, no friction burns, ew. Pro tip: dim lights, soft tunes—sets the mood quick. Surprised me how some masseuses sneak in happy endings—sketchy! Not my jam—keep it legit, ya know?

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Finally, I get back to work. I’m planting some new flowers near the old church on Via Mazzini. It’s a beautiful spot, but the ground is like concrete. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath, and just when I think I’m done, I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s a bunch of kids on bikes, racing down the street like they’re in the Tour de France. They zoom past, and I’m like, “Hey! Watch the flowers!” But they’re too busy laughing and yelling. Kids, man.

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