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Once, this lass, fit as, says, “You’re cute.” Me, blushing, “Oh, ta!” Then she’s like, “Send pics.” I panic, send me foot! *points at shoe, shrugs* She unmatched. Fair. Dodged a bullet, maybe. *nods sagely* Oh, and typos, mate—sexting’s a minefield! “Wanna duck?” I meant—y’know. *winks, trips again* Laughed me head off!

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But wait, there’s more! Just as I’m admiring my work, the power comes back on. Lights flicker, and I’m like, “YES!” But then, I hear a loud crash. I rush outside, and there’s a car accident right on Via Cristoforo Colombo. No one’s hurt, thank goodness, but traffic is a mess. I’m standing there, shaking my head.

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