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We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m a fisherman, right? Alien fisherman, crash-landed here, fishin’ for weird shit. Brothel’s this freaky-ass fish, mate! Not the sexy kinda brothel, nah, mispelled that—brotHel, see? It’s a damn fish stew, French vibes, messy as hell. Tastes like ocean tears, bruv, I swear! Reminds me of *Finding Nemo*, ya know? “Fish are friends, not food”—bollocks! Brothel’s got fish swimmin’ in it, drowned in wine, herbs everywhere. I’m like, “Nemo, mate, you’re in my bowl!”

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So, I’m strolling down Via Roma, right? Just vibin’ to my tunes, when BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, c’mon! Really? I’m just tryna enjoy my morning coffee from that cute café, Bar Pasticceria Da Gigi. Their pastries are to die for, but now I’m covered in bird crap. Great start, huh?

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