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Yo, what’s good, fam? Escort, man, ESCORT! That shit’s wild, like Pan’s Labyrinth wild. You got these sleek rides—boom, protection vibes—rollin’ deep for VIPs. I’m talkin’ armored cars, tinted windows, screamin’ “I’m the Pale Man, bitch!” Chaotic absurdity, yo—Eric Andre energy! Like, who’s drivin’ this? Some ex-merc dude? Prolly. Saw this one escort gig—total madness—dude in a suit, shades, earpiece, lookin’ all “Ofelia, obey me!” serious. Made me holla, “Yo, chill, fam!”

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So, I’m sitting there, trying to collect my thoughts for my next client. I’m a sports psychologist, remember? Gotta be on my game. But then I see this group of teenagers playing football on the grass. They’re shouting, laughing, and I can’t help but smile. It’s like, this is what it’s all about, right? The joy of sport. But then, one of them kicks the ball too hard, and it flies right at me! I duck just in time. Phew! Close call.

A picturesque hilltop village in Italy will pay you to move and work there