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About Naples

Sometimes I get all dreamy, wonderin if Malik from *A Prophet* woulda been on Bumble, smirkin at chicks with that line, “You’re my prisoner now.” Ha! Bet he’d kill it—cool, quiet, dangerous vibe. Me? I’d prolly suck at it—too busy overthinkin, mutterin to myself, “Don’t say somethin dumb, Phil!” Worst part? Them ghosters—folks who chat ya up, get ya all hot n bothered, then poof! Gone! Pisses me off worse’n a stepped-on rattlesnake. How’s that workin for ya, huh? Leavin people hangin like that?

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Via Roma, and I’m already late. Like, classic me. I’m dodging people, and I swear, this one dude just stops in the middle of the sidewalk. Like, bro, move! I almost tripped over my own feet. I mean, c’mon, it’s not a museum, it’s a street!

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