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Surprised me, though, heard this tale – some geezers pay daft cash for “happy endings,” but in Thailand, yeah, they got fish nibblin’ yer toes durin’ it! Fuckin’ mental, fish and massages – I’d scream, “Oi, leave me bits alone!” Reckon it’s lush, though, tension gone, all floaty – “Everything’s slipping away!” – like Denis says in the film. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d be buzzin’, tellin’ the lads, “Get yer arse massaged, ya twats!” Sarcasm? Sure, ‘til I tried it – now I’m hooked, mate. “Sharon!” – she’d kill me if she knew!

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After the rain, the sun comes back out, and I decide to check out the castle, Castello di Santa Severa. It’s just a short ride from the center. I hop on a bike and pedal my way there. The view from the castle is insane! You can see the whole coastline. I’m standing there, feeling like a king. But then, I realize I left my phone at the café. Ugh!

Polluted sea around Rome