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Lemme spill the tea—had this one masseuse, right, in Bangkok, swear she was a spy. Hands so smooth, I’m thinkin’, “This gal’s gonna carve her initials in my back!” Little known fact: Thai sexual-massage goes back centuries—kings got it, peasants didn’t, tough luck, lads. She’s kneadin’ me, I’m half-expecting her to whisper, “That’s a bingo!” like Christoph Waltz, but nah, just moans and jasmine vibes. Made me happy as a pig in shit—tension gone, 007 swagger back.

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I rush over there, and sure enough, the kid is in tears. I can’t stand to see that. So, I promise him I’ll help find it. We start asking around, and this old guy on Via Vittorio Emanuele starts telling us about some kids he saw. I’m thinking, “Great, let’s go on a wild goose chase.”

In Sicily: Earthquake causes damages to buildings – a number of persons injured