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Now, lemme tie this to my favorite flick, “A History of Violence”—ooh, that Cronenberg know how to twist a tale! Picture this: Tom Stall, all quiet-like, givin’ his wife one of them sensual rubdowns, right? Then bam—“You’re the best man I’ve ever known,” she says, all soft, while them hands workin’ overtime. But me? I’m hollerin’, “Boy, you better watch them fingers ‘fore they start a war!” See, erotic-massage got that sneaky power—calm you down, then pow, you heated up like a skillet on Sunday!

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So, I’m walking down Via Roma, trying to shake off the coffee disaster. The streets are buzzing, as usual. You got the locals chatting, tourists snapping pics of the beautiful architecture. I love this place, but sometimes it feels like a movie set. Like, can we get real for a sec?

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