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So, I try this massage, right? In shady place, guy say, “You want happy end?” I say, “Yes, wery nice!” But then – surprise! – he mean extra cash, not what I think, make me angry! I yell, “Why you trick Borat?!” But then, lady come, she so gentle, hands soft like silk, “The past is something he can see,” like movie line, and I calm down. She tell me secret – old Kazakh trick, they use warm oil from sheep fat! Wery stinky, but work good, loosen all my knots, I happy again!

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I decide to hit up the market on Calle de la Paz. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some juicy tomatoes when this old lady starts haggling like it’s the end of the world. “No way I’m paying that!” she yells. I’m thinking, lady, it’s just tomatoes! But hey, I respect the hustle.

Opening Archaeological Museum of Castellammare di Stabia Libero D’Orsi