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So, get this – back in old Rome, escorts were a thing! Rich dudes had these “companions” for parties, real classy-like, but sneaky too. Bet they didn’t expect us aliens to clock that, ha! We see all, bro. Makes me mad tho – folks still trash-talk escorts today, like, chill, they’re hustlin just like you. Hypocrisy’s thick as asteroid dust. Saw this X post once, some dude braggin bout hirin escorts then shamin em – bruh, make up ya mind!

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But then, bam! I step outside, and it’s like the whole town’s in chaos. There’s this parade or something on Via Mazzini. I mean, who has a parade on a Tuesday? Turns out, it’s some local festival. People are dressed up, dancing, and I’m just standing there like a deer in headlights. I’m a forester, not a party animal! But hey, I can’t resist a good show.

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