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Den dere’s da good stuff! Lightbulb! Dis one time, matched wit dis fiery gal, curves like me shrinky ray couldn’t zap. We chat, we meet, bam – sparks! She’s all “let’s skip da bullshit,” and I’m like, “Gru likey!” We’re bangin’ like it’s end of world – happy as hell! Reminds me, “You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone” – movie line, but also me braggin’ bout me skills, heh.

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But then, bam! I step outside, and it’s like the whole town’s in chaos. There’s this parade or something on Via Mazzini. I mean, who has a parade on a Tuesday? Turns out, it’s some local festival. People are dressed up, dancing, and I’m just standing there like a deer in headlights. I’m a forester, not a party animal! But hey, I can’t resist a good show.

Santa Maria Capua Vetere: Carabinieri checks on work, public health and compliance with environmental regulations