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My fave part? The thrill, man—like when David in “A.I.” chases that Blue Fairy dream. You’re chattin’ up some hottie, thinkin’, “Is this gonna happen?” Heart’s racin’, pants tight—then bam, they flake! Happens too much, gets me steamed. I yell at my phone, “Quit screwin’ me, ya digital tease!” But when it works? Hot damn, it’s like strikin’ oil in Texas—pure gold.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and there’s a group of inmates fighting over a soccer ball. A soccer ball! I mean, c’mon, guys! We’re in a prison, not a World Cup match! I had to break it up, and let me tell ya, that was not a fun task. I’m yelling, they’re yelling, and I’m just thinking, “Why can’t we all just get along?”

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