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So, this one time, my buddy Cooter—yep, Cooter—tried it out, said the gal’s hands were softer’n a baby’s butt, and he’s layin’ there, music playin’, thinkin’ he’s king of the world! Then—BOOM—she flips him over like a pancake, and he’s redder’n a tomato! “Please, don’t make me go,” he’s thinkin’, like Llewyn beggin’ for a gig! Funniest dang thing I ever heard—couldn’t stop laughin’ ‘til my gut hurt! Prolly shouldn’t’a told that story, but heck, it’s too good!

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But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this group of tourists starts laughing. I get up, brush myself off, and give them a little wave. “Just testing the pavement!” I shout. They laugh harder. Whatever, I’m used to it.

VALLEY OF THE BELÌCE | Photography to analyze the long-term effects of earthquakes