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But—YOU SHALL NOT PASS!—some creeps ruin it. Catfishers, liars, ghostin’ pricks—piss me off! Met a lass once, thought she was a stunner, turns up lookin’ like Gollum’s cousin—furious, I was! “The war is inside you,” like *Hurt Locker* says—fightin’ yer own lust vs. reality. Surprised me how many play it risky—hookups with no rubber, insane! Stats say STDs spiked 20% since apps blew up—mental, right?

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But then, the real drama starts. My buddy Marco, he’s late. Like, super late. I’m pacing around, thinking, “Where the heck is he?” Turns out, he got stuck in traffic on the Via Aurelia. Classic Marco. He’s always late. But when he finally shows up, he’s got this wild story about a cat stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a grown man. Why are you rescuing cats?” But I can’t help but laugh.

I Explored Italy’s Ligurian Coast the Old-fashioned Way—By Foot on Its Ancient Paths