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Little secret—studies say oxytocin spikes after sex, bonds ya like glue. Sex-dating tries to dodge that, but ha! Biology says, “Sike, bitch!” Surprised me first time I read it—thought humans were just horny apes. Nope, sneaky emotions creepin’ in—makes me wanna scream, “Mortals, yer so daft!” Ever tried it? I did—Midgard hookup, total chaos. She was all, “Call me,” I’m like, “Nah, I’m Loki, I dip.” Glorious purpose, see?

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Then, during lunch, I hit up this little café on Piazza della Libertà. Best coffee ever! I ordered a cappuccino, and the barista, Marco, he’s a legend. He knows my order by heart. I sat outside, soaking up the sun, and for a moment, life was good. But then, BAM! A bird poops right on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I looked up, and that little jerk was just flying away like nothing happened. I laughed it off, but inside, I was fuming.

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