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About Bologna

Alright, listen up, fam—deep breath—I’m Morgan Freeman, y’all, narratin’ this wild ride about Escort, that lil’ car Ford dropped back in the day. Picture me, sittin’ on a porch, sippin’ sweet tea, voice rumblin’ like a wise ol’ oak, tellin’ you ‘bout this scrappy machine. Escort ain’t no fancy schmancy ride, nah, it’s the underdog, the hustler, the “I’ll get ya there” vibe. Reminds me of *Before Sunset*—y’know, my fave flick—where Jesse says, “I feel like I’m runnin’ on fumes,” and that’s Escort, baby, runnin’ on grit and prayers.

Adults Only

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Then I decide to stroll down to the beach. Santa-Flavia’s coastline is just gorgeous, man. The waves crashing, the sun glistening off the water. I’m thinking, “This is life.” But then, outta nowhere, I trip over a rock. A ROCK! I mean, come on! Who put that there? I’m sprawled out on the sand, coffee flying everywhere. I’m covered in sand, looking like a beach bum. Great start, right?

Summer brings sharks close to the shore: four sightings in Sicily in a few days.