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Anyways, findin’ a prostitute’s weird, excitin’, and kinda spooky—like Werckmeister’s long shots of nothin’ happenin’, then WHAM, somethin’ big. “The world’s gone mad!”—that’s me screamin’ when I almost tripped runnin’ from a cop I THOUGHT was chasin’ me. Wasn’t even a cop, just some guy with a flashlight! Laughed my butt off after, tho. What a doofus I am! You ever tried it, buddy? Tell me EVERYTHIN’!

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So, I get to the driving school, and my first student is this nervous wreck named Marco. Poor kid. He’s sweating bullets. I’m like, “Dude, relax! It’s just a car, not a spaceship!” But he’s gripping the wheel like it’s a lifeline. We hit the streets, and I’m trying to keep it cool. We’re cruising down Via della Libertà, and suddenly, he slams the brakes. I’m like, “What the heck, man?” Turns out, he saw a cat. A CAT! I mean, I love cats, but c’mon!

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