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So yeah, findin’ one ain’t hard—look in the dodgy bits o’ town, them dark corners. But watch yerself, mate—they’re crafty! One minute ya got yer precious, next it’s gone, poof! Like them spirits stealin’ names. “Don’t forget who ya are,” I says to meself, clutchin’ me imaginary ring. Wouldn’t trade me *Spirited Away* fer no prossie, though—best damn movie ever! We loves it, we does! *raspy chuckle* What’s yer take, eh? Gollum’s got yer back!

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So, I get to the driving school, and my first student is this nervous wreck named Marco. Poor kid. He’s sweating bullets. I’m like, “Dude, relax! It’s just a car, not a spaceship!” But he’s gripping the wheel like it’s a lifeline. We hit the streets, and I’m trying to keep it cool. We’re cruising down Via della Libertà, and suddenly, he slams the brakes. I’m like, “What the heck, man?” Turns out, he saw a cat. A CAT! I mean, I love cats, but c’mon!

Italian nun channels ‘Mr. Rogers’ as coronavirus restrictions extend