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Oi, listen up, fam! Me name’s Ali G, and I’m here to chat about sexual-massage, innit. Proper wicked stuff, yeah? I’m buzzin’ just thinkin’ about it. Picture this - you’re laid out, oil drippin’, hands all over ya, and it’s like, “There will be blood,” but nah, just pure vibes instead! Respect to me fave flick, *There Will Be Blood* - that Daniel Day-Lewis geezer woulda lost his rag if he swapped oil rigs for a cheeky rubdown.

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Anyway, I grab some oranges and head back to my workshop on Via Dante. I’m pumped to start a new project. I’m making this cool wooden sculpture, right? But as I’m working, I realize I forgot my favorite chisel. It’s like my magic wand! I’m freaking out. I can’t create without it. So, I race back to the market, praying it’s still there.

Strangled Child’s Mother Arrested