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About Bari

What gets me happy tho? When you match a proper peng ting an’ she’s DTF – no messin’ about. Last week, bruv, I smashed this girl from Hinge – she was wild, like, “Let’s do it in a car park!” I was gassed, thinkin’, “This is livin’!” But then, yeah, the sad ting – ghostin’. She dipped after, no text, no nuffin’. Felt like a right mug. “The heart gleaners,” Varda says – well, my heart got gleaned an’ binned!

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First off, I wake up late. Classic me. I’m supposed to meet my buddy Marco at the bar on Via Roma for some espresso. But nooo, I hit snooze like a champ. Finally, I roll outta bed, throw on whatever, and dash out. The sun’s blazing, and I’m sweating like a pig. I mean, it’s Sicily, but c’mon!

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