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Alright, brah, lemme tell ya bout sex escorts, Hawaiian style, yeah? Picture this – I’m sittin in my volcano lair, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” watchin the waves crash, thinkin bout these fine wahines who escort for a livin. Like, sex escort biz here? It’s wild, man! You got these gals, all glamorous like in *The Grand Budapest Hotel*, servin up “concierge” vibes but with a naughty twist. “I am a lobby boy!” – nah, more like “I am your fantasy, brah!”

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Then, I bump into Maria, the local florist. She’s got this wild energy. “Father! You gotta try my new flowers!” she says. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” She hands me a bouquet of the brightest sunflowers. I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, I remember I’m supposed to be a serious clergyman. So, I’m like, “Thanks, Maria, but I can’t be walkin’ around with flowers!”

Michael Lo Porto Obituary (1952 - 2022) - Troy, NY - Albany Times Union