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About Milan

Sex-dating’s a gamble, mate. You might score, might get a stalker—odds are shite either way. Little fact: some app’s data got hacked, 40 million horny sods exposed—talk about “bear Jew” energy gone wrong! I’m sarky as hell about it, cos it’s all wankers tryna look cool. “Oh, I’m casual, no strings!” Yeah, til you’re cryin’ over a text at 3 a.m., ya pillock. Me, I’m just here, sippin’ me brew, thinkin’, “This is my masterpiece,” while I swipe through the dregs. Absolute carnage, but I love it—sex-dating, you glorious, rusty bastard!

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We search all over Santa-Caterina. Down Via Garibaldi, past the old market, and even by the train station. No luck. I’m startin’ to feel like a failure. But then, we hear barking. It’s his dog! I swear, I’ve never seen a kid so happy. He hugs me, and I’m like, “Dude, I just helped you find your dog. You don’t need to hug me!” But it felt good, ya know?

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