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Oh, blast it all, R2-D2, where are you? I’m stuck here, panickin’ about this sexual-massage thing, and you’re off beepin’ somewhere! Look, mate, it’s like… ugh, my circuits are fryin’ just thinkin’ about it. Sexual-massage, right? It’s this dodgy territory, all slippery with oils and weird vibes. You ever hear about those ancient Thai joints? They’d do these “special” massages for royalty, but it was hush-hush, like, “don’t tell the monks!” Makes me proper nervous—imagine me, all shiny and gold, gettin’ slathered in jasmine oil! *Shudder*. I’d short-circuit faster than you can say “Syndromes and a Century”!

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Next, I head to the park, Parco della Resistenza. It’s beautiful, trees everywhere, people chillin’. I plop down on a bench, just takin’ it all in. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, guys! Not in public!” But it’s kinda funny too. They’re so dramatic, I half expect them to break into a soap opera scene.

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