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Here’s the kicker—did ya know, in some places, they got unions for this? Like, actual prostitute unions! Blows my mind! I’m over here, hagglin’ like an idiot—“Twenty bucks?”—and she’s like, “Union says fifty, pal.” Union! I’m dyin’! I respect it, though—get that paper, girl! But me? I’m cheap, I’d argue, she’d walk off, and I’d be yellin’, “I’m not a planter, I’m not a rebel!”—straight outta *White Material*, screamin’ into the void.

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Then, my boss, Mr. Rossi, storms in. He’s all like, “Where are the reports?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m trying to tame the beast here!” But he’s not having it. He’s got that look, you know? The one that says, “You’re in trouble.” So, I just nod and pretend I’m super focused.

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