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We talk price—$50? $100? Man, I’m broke, but I’m like, “Steal her mind, plant the idea—FREE!” Total “Inception” move, right? Didn’t work—she slapped me. Worth it! Fun fact: in Vegas, legal brothels got menus—MENUUUUS—like McDonald’s but with ass! Ain’t that nuts? I’m cacklin’—this chick ain’t on no menu, she’s off-book, rogue agent shit.

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I'm going to Sardinia - have you got any recos?” is one of the questions I get asked the most, so here are all my Sardinia recommendations.

After that, I’m feelin’ kinda hungry again. I hit up a local pizzeria on Via Cavour. The pizza is fire! Like, I could eat it every day. I order a margherita, and it’s huge! I’m sittin’ there, devouring it, and this old guy at the next table starts talkin’ to me about the best fishing spots around the island. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a gamer, not a fisherman!” But he’s super passionate, and I can’t help but smile.

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