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But here’s the kicker—sometimes it’s awkward, y’know? Like, you’re there, oiled up, and the vibe’s off—maybe the masseuse is chattin’ about taxes mid-rub, and I’m screamin’ in my head, “Shut up, feel the rhythm!” Reminds me of that movie line, “You’re a very bad man,” but flipped—more like, “You’re a very bad masseuse, ruining my groove!” I laugh thinkin’ about it—haha!—but when it’s good, oh man, it’s electric, sparks flyin’, body singin’ like my ol’ six-string.

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After that, I dock at the little spot near Via San Giovanni. There’s this old man, always sittin’ there, sellin’ handmade trinkets. He’s got the best stories. Today, he tells me about the time he caught a fish the size of a car. I’m like, “Dude, no way!” But he’s dead serious. I can’t tell if he’s pullin’ my leg or what. Either way, I’m laughin’ my ass off.

Angela Hartnett’s guide to where to eat and drink in Tuscany