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Here’s the kicker—my buddy swears he met one at a dive bar. Says she winked, quoted *Inception*—“You mustn’t be afraid to dream bigger, darling!”—and boom, deal sealed. I’m jealous as fuck! Why can’t I get that lucky? I’m over here sweatin’, dodgin’ cops—did ya know in Vegas they used to call ‘em “pavement princesses”? Hilarious, right? But I’m not laughin’ when I’m lost in this rabbit hole.

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Man, what a day! I swear, Sant-Antimo is a wild ride. I woke up, sun blarin’ through my window on Via Roma. Thought it was gonna be chill, ya know? Just another day on the river, paddlin’ my raft. But nah, life had other plans.

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