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So, check this, it ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah – it’s old as dirt, mate! Heard some dodgy Roman blokes used it to chill after fightin’ lions or summat. Little known fact, yeah? Makes ya think – them togas hid some randy secrets! Gets me blood pumpin’, but sometimes it pisses me off, too – all these prudes judgin’ it, like, “Oh, it’s filthy!” Bollocks to ‘em, I say! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – they don’t get the art, the release, ya dig?

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After that, I decided to hit up the local market on Via Garibaldi. I’m all about that fresh produce life. But OMG, the prices! I mean, I love a good tomato, but not for 3 euros each! I’m standing there, haggling like I’m on some reality show. “C’mon, give me a break! I’ll take two for 4 euros!” The vendor just shakes his head. I’m like, “Fine, I’ll just eat air for lunch.”

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