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About Turin

This bloke calls, all nervous—pathetic! “Hey, mate, u free tonite?” Voice shakin’ like a soggy soufflé. I’m like, “Grow a pair, ya muppet!” Sex-dating’s brutal—did ya know 1 in 5 matches flake? Little fact for ya, ya numpty. I’ve seen it—chattin’ up some bird online, she’s all “oooh yeah,” then poof—gone! Makes me mad as hell. “What’s the matter with you?!” I’d yell if I could. Happy bit? When it works—shagged a stunner once, felt like Tony bleeding Curtis in *Brooklyn*. “You’re tearing me apart!”—nah, mate, it was glorious!

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So, I’m vibin’ with the music, right? And then, bam! A balloon pops right next to me. I jump like I just saw a ghost. Turns out, it was just some kid. He looks at me like I’m the crazy one. I’m like, “Bro, you’re the one with the balloon!” Kids these days, man.

Giovanna Pedretti dead from the social pillory? Lorenzo Biagiarelli: