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But—plot twist—she’s got a pimp, big dude, tattoos everywhere, eyeballin’ me like I stole his krabby patty. I’m sweatin’ buckets, thinkin’, “We’re all animals now!”—movie quote, fits perfect! I’m ready to peel out, but he just grunts and walks off. Phew, close call! Made me mad tho—why these gals gotta deal with that crap? Surprised me how chill she was, like she’s used to it. Sad vibes, man.

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Sippin’ my cappuccino, I start people-watching. There’s this couple arguing nearby. I can’t hear them, but their gestures are wild. I’m thinking, “Man, love is a battlefield.” Then, they suddenly stop and start laughing. Like, what just happened? It’s like a rom-com scene. I’m here for it!

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