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So, sex-dating—man, it’s wild. You got Tinder, Bumble, all these apps promisin’ pussy or dick on demand. I dove in once, motherfucker, profile all slick—bam, matched some chick. She’s like, “Let’s fuck, no strings!” I’m thinkin’, “Hot damn, this is easier than stealin’ candy!” But then—surprise, motherfucker—she’s got a dude watchin’ from the closet! True story, swear on my *Pulp Fiction* Bible! Little-known fact: back in the day, swingers used Polaroids to hook up—now it’s all digital, but the freaks still out there!

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But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need those results ASAP!” Like, dude, chill. I’m not a magician. I’m just trying to enjoy my cornetto. So, I rush over to the lab on Via Garibaldi. Traffic was a nightmare. I swear, I almost lost it when some guy in a tiny car cut me off. Like, bro, it’s not a race!

Memories are Made of This - Fr. Stanley Klasinski, Pastor St. Clare Parish, Lyndhurst, Ohio