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Alright, so sexual-massage, huh? I’m sittin here, thinkin—why’s this even a thing? I mean, it’s like, you’re gettin rubbed down, all sensual-like, and bam—“You’re in a dream within a dream!”—straight outta *Inception*. Pretty, pretty good, right? But also, what the hell! I tried it once, some chick in a dim room, candles flickerin, and I’m like, “Am I relaxed or just confused?” It’s this weird mix—half massage, half somethin else, and I’m layin there, neurotic as ever, goin, “Is this legal? Am I Leonardo DiCaprio now?”

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Next stop, the piazza. Oh man, the vibe there is always lit. People chillin’, kids runnin’ around, and the smell of fresh pasta from the trattoria. I’m drooling, but I’m also broke. Classic. I sit on a bench, just people-watching.

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