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Funniest bit? Mate, I knocked over the oil bottle! *mimes slippery chaos* Floor’s a mess, she’s slippin’, I’m slidin’—like a bloody cartoon! “The coward Robert Ford” would’ve run from that mess! *guffaws* Oh, and get this—some say pirates used sexual-massage to relax after plunderin’. True story! *nods wildly* Wish I’d known that watchin’ Johnny Depp, eh? *mumbles pirate noises*

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I whip around, and there’s this guy on Via Giuseppe Garibaldi, totally wreckin’ his scooter. I mean, it was like a scene from a slapstick comedy. He’s on the ground, lookin’ dazed, and his scooter’s just... well, it’s a mess. I couldn’t help but laugh. I know, I know, I’m a terrible person. But c’mon!

Verona, the masks of Italy on gnocular Fridays. The 492nd Verona Carnival is underway