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Oh, and the stigma? Dumb as hell. “It’s a sin!” Cry me a river. Sex escort’s old as dirt – Rome had brothels, fact. Even my babushka knew stories, whispered ‘em drunk. Makes ya think – history’s one big horny mess.

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After the park, we head back to the Rossi’s. I’m thinking, “Finally, some chill time.” But nope! Sofia wants to do arts and crafts. We’re talking glitter, glue, the whole shebang. I’m trying to keep it together, but glitter is everywhere. I mean, I’ll be finding it in my hair for weeks.

Italian mayor bans pizza ovens to fight smog