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Oh, and the typos? Screw it—sex ecsort, sexcort, whatever. They’re out there, dodging STDs, weirdos, and “I’ll pay later” losers. Funniest shit? Some johns think they’re heroes, “saving” ‘em. Yeah, like Chow Yun-fat with a sword—dream on, pal. “To repress one’s feelings only makes them stronger”—movie gold. Escorts feel it too, bet they’re pissed under that smile. Me? I’d suck at it—too cranky, scare ‘em off.

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The kids, oh boy. Little Marco and his sister, Sofia. They were bouncing off the walls. I mean, I love ‘em, but they were like little tornadoes. First thing Marco says? “Can we go to the park?” I’m like, “Sure, but let’s eat first.”

Aguirre opposes complete ban on fraternities