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Gets me happy, though—people so desperate for a thrill they’ll shell out fifty bucks for a stranger’s sweaty mitts. Ever tried it? Me neither—too busy dissectin’ my own kinda fun. But damn, the stories! Heard one ‘bout a guy who fell asleep mid-rub, woke up missin’ a kidney—urban legend, prolly, but I’d believe it. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, just to spook ‘em.

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Finally, I decide to head back. I’m walking down Via della Libertà, and I spot this cute little shop selling handmade crafts. I go in, and the lady behind the counter is super sweet. She shows me these beautiful ceramics. I’m like, “I’ll take one!” But then I realize I have no room in my bag. Classic me, right?