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Alright, mate, listen up! I’m Gandalf, the grey butcher, y’know, slicing meat and wisdom! Sexual-massage, huh? It’s wild, slippery stuff—hands roamin’, oils flowin’, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot slab! “There’s some good in this world,” like in *The Master*, where Freddie’s all lost, kneadin’ his demons out. I reckon sexual-massage is like that—raw, messy, but bloody brilliant when it hits right. You shall not pass—without feelin’ that spark, that zing in yer bones!

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Then, I decided to stroll down to Piazza della Libertà. It’s this cute little square with those old-school buildings. I love it there. But as I’m walking, I see this dude trying to sell fake designer bags. Like, bro, it’s not even Gucci! It’s “Guccy” or something. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who’s buying that?

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